You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize
