Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
