It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
