the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
