Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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