I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
