my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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