wake up i wanna do it froggy style
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
