waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
