I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
