he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
We had to coat check the pizza.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Randomize
