just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
