i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I am available for nakedness
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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