I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Randomize
