So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
