Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
