Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
