I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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