when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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