if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
