All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
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