idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
The air taste purple.
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