I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
