I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
