she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
