You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
