walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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