If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
