drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
