i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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