so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
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