Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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