These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
