wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
