Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Randomize
