why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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