we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
