it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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