How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
