i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
