hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
