What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Are my feet made of real feet?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
