Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
