Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
