I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Randomize
