Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
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