we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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