I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
