Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
