do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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